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[personal profile] alesserrain
Total number of stories worked on: (after initial swearing into the void) about 58 + whatever gchat ficlets I did but I am not going to count because goodness I don't even know how.

Total number of completed stories: 34 (7 "proper" fics and 28 published drabbles...somewhere)

Fandoms written in: Exo, Vixx, Big Byung, Girl’s Day, MCU, Push (movie)

Total word count: I counted until 54 101 (with the WIPs included. I am not touching gchat see above)

All the King's Warships and All the King's Men
EXO, Baekhyun/Lay, 7371 words

MCU Three Sentence Ficathon
MCU, Bruce/Natasha, 236 words combined

Push, Three Sentence Ficathon
Push, Nick & Cassie Gen, 114 words

Hongbin/Hyuk Drabble
VIXX, Hongbin/Hyuk, 383 words

We will go down in (dark, very dark) history
Big Byung, Gen, 6490 words

VIXX 3SF Drabbles
VIXX, I'm not even going to try
VIXX, Neo, 600 words (co-written with [ profile] slashedsilver

VIXX, Various Pairings, 3230 word (co-written with [ profile] slashedsilver and [ profile] wykedpanda

EXO, Baekhyun/Chanyeol/Chen friendship with side Xiumin/Baekhyun, 7240 words

Girls Day & VIXX, N/Sojin, 4678 words

The Best Christmas Party in the World
VIXX, Gen, 3131 words (co-written with [ profile] slashedsilver)

Warning: unfiltered me with a serving of self-loathing


Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?
Definitely more than I could ever predict! With the caveat that I disappointed myself a lot too. Compared to the previous years, I’ve finished stuff (whoa) and moved past my usual 2k-3k word length, which means yey, I could tell more complicated stories than before. But I also started a ton of WIPs and dropped off more than half of the exchanges when it collided terribly with RL stress and I had to disappear for a while and recalibrate (which, err, fat lot it did but life is a rollercoaster blah blah Ronan Keating). So 2015 was cool for getting a lot of fic ideas and just starting things left and right! But I didn’t do very well with time management and getting past my own blocks. That ended in less finished fic and more WIPs than my quickly overwhelmed brain could handle.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?
Baekxing (Baekhyun/Lay) of EXO honestly. It was for the Exo rarepair exchange and I initially wanted to write the Xiumin/Lay prompt of my recipient. But the draft wasn’t flowing even when I had a title and everything, and my brain refused to write a slow-burn EXO canon fic like I wanted it to. ALSO, I didn’t follow Baekhyun closely at all to be able to write him confidently. Alas, the space cowboy prompt was too strong and in the end all my brain wanted was a space AU crack. I think I waffled a lot and watched tons of EXO Showtime clips and Baeklay fancams just to be able to get a feel of their interaction (see perfectionist tendencies, exhibit 1). Then threw everything to the wind and wrote crack!Baekhyun in the end and I’m really happy it worked out!

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest?
Oh god I’m going to sound like a broken record: still the Baekxing (All the King’s Warships and All the King’s Men) because an inappropriate and a nervous wreck of a Baekhyun was so, so much fun to write. And as much as I love/crave canon fics for Kpop, I think my heart really lies in writing cracky scifi stories populated by assholes, um, yeah. It’s like a no-holds barred place where I could do anything I want and make up stuff that’s cracky but has to make sense. Also! Got to properly write a full-length nonlinear (and that was half a failed experiment but it was fun).

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
Yes, I think a lot given my pile of WIPs and overwritten and rewritten pile of notes and intros, and tadah, another WIP I am not skilled enough to handle at the moment. There are a few moments when it worked and those were really great (the Big Byung fic for example) and others are still languishing in my hard drive. Er. There are some stories that are broken because I don't feel them so much in the end. Others that don't work because too much of me was into them. And then there are a bunch of stories that remain hanging because I didn't persist and I got lazy. Ultimately what I learned from them is er, write? Stop overthinking things and reinventing the wheel for myself EACH AND EVERY TIME STAHP. Or I’ll never finish. So less overthinking. More drunken writing. Less caring if it doesn’t live up to the thing inside my head. (Also psst time management).

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?
Finish my two major WIPs dear god. That, and try to write a fic to completion every month (tall order self but please also be more forgiving). Finish pieces longer than 10k basically. And also try not to be constipated in the feelings department. I am one that feels okay with having workman-like prose or not making it look pretty on the page, but I do want to be able to evoke some feelings in it maybe? Or maybe I just need to live life a bit more to be able to make more cutting observations? Hmm.

My goals from last year were?
Complete all the exchanges I joined? Which didn’t happen, sorry self.

From my past year of writing, what was…

My best story of this year: I’m inclined to go with “We will go down in (dark, very dark) history” (Big Byung) just because it was beta’d extensively and like so structured that technically it’s one of the cleanest fics I have.

Most popular story of this year: “Cha Hakyeon Protection Squad” hands down in my entirety of KPOP fic-writing, which was pretty funny considering me and [ profile] slashedsilver were drunk typing. Goes to show how unpredictable people’s reading habits are.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: “The Life and Times of High School Boys” just because I think it’s one of the hardest fics I had to force myself to write and well the rewards both emotionally and writing-wise was close to nil. It did get RTd like months later which was a nice surprise. But during the vacuum silence in the weeks I posted it though was like self-flagellation and me clawing my face for spending so much time on writing a fic I don’t feel super strong about and that people wouldn’t read anyway.

Most fun story to write: “All the King’s Warships and All the King’s Men” of course because sentient spaceships and humor and embarrassing Baekhyun in various ways are always a fun time. And I didn’t have to care about the chronology and was merely guided by feelings and by what would be the most awkward thing to happen to people in a professional setting. Um. Yes.

Story with the single sexiest moment: The most explicit scene was in a NEO 3SF drabble and “All the King’s…” Baekxing fic, but the latter was for laughs. Um. I’m choosing a line from “Love For Sale” the VIXX Hooker AU: Hakyeon starts to unbutton his shirt. “How would you like me?”

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: In the published ones it is the Navi graphically violent 3SF drabble. The ones finished and lurking in gchat are: 1.) VIXX as muffins toeing the PG-13 line because uhh Hakffin needed to “unwrap” Hyukffin, 2.) Fic about anthropomorphized Mt. Rinjani, 3.) Angst fic about Kiwi/Pumpkin. (Coming soon: VIXX as medicines AU, where Hakyeonpas plasters himself to Hyuksyrup, while Paracetamoleo continues to have a headache).

Story that shifted my own perception of the characters: Hmm for very story I always end up learning something new about the people I am trying to write about, so I think everything shifted my own perception of them in a way. But the strongest I’ve felt this in was in “We will go down in (dark, very dark) history” (Big Byung) since I had to take Hyungdon’s POV in addition to the idols, and also “Documentation” where I had to write Girl’s Day and I wasn’t particularly fond of Hyeri in real life but in fic she came out okay and I ended up tolerating her more.

Hardest story to write: Each and every fic that is projected to go longer than 1k is like some inner circle of hell that is yet to be mapped. But I think the winner here is either “The Life and Times of High School Boys” because I was already fed up with HS AUs at that time and it was the last thing I wanted to write even if I was interested in gen fic and “We will go down in (dark, very dark) history” because why did you choose this format, why self, how do you tell a story. Both were like pulling teeth.

Biggest disappointment: That I fail consistently to finish a fic on time or at ALL. /grumbles at time management and RL

Biggest surprise: That I ended up writing an N/Sojin fic (Documentation) in the end after all. I wanted to write them before, but not enough plot and motivation until VIXX SS and someone actually requested for them. [EDIT: 1/13] How could I forget this singular thing--CO-WRITING and finishing said co-written fic! I doubt if anyone knows this, I've not mentioned this until now (even to [ profile] slashedsilver but I guess now you know? Ahehe) but I have control issues up the wazoo, and the co-writing thing helped me let go of the reins a little and try not to control the process so much. And things got done!

Highlights + Wrap-up:

Favorite Opening Lines (3):

1. Big Byung is trash?

2. Well, Baekhyun is pretty much fucked.
    Popping a boner in a middle of a life-and-death situation was a perfectly normal stress reaction.

3. "You know what would be nice?" Hakyeon says as soon as the ajumma hands them the plate of kalbi, intercepting before the usual suspects (aka, Taekwoon and/or Sanghyuk) makes off with half of it. "A Christmas party, a small one, just with the members."

(Actually my brain is fried from choosing sooo...)

Favourite Closing Lines (3): (I have nothing)

1. Hyungdon looked horrified at the prospect. “No. Oh god, no.”

2. "Just please don't die," Taekwoon says.

3. Taekwoon wants to feel it, Taekwoon wants the hand-shaped bruises so he can look at it the next day.

Favorite 5 Line(s) from Anywhere: (Almost Jaehwan's lines at this point)


“Yes, as I was saying, Baekhyun and I have been having intimate relations—“
“Oh god.” Baekhyun wanted to shrivel up and die.
“—which may otherwise affect certain aspects of our day-to-day life on this ship.“

3. "Would you like to sleep with me?" Coffee. Jaehwan was just going to ask the guy out for coffee. Jaehwan stops, worrying at the inside of his cheek, and refuses to imagine what he looked like standing in front of this beautiful guy, Jaehwan in his shabby pair of rubber shoes and naturally distressed jeans, asking him for sex.

4. "I'm all bones, hyung. And Hongbin said my arm is too salty," Jaehwan babbles in protest.

5. Jaehwan points at his lower lip. "I am deeply wounded here, hyung."

In Conclusion: My head hurts. Haha. I actually didn't expect to have written as much as I did when I started adding up my wordcounts everywhere and I I wrote all these?? Also, so scattered, so much lack of focus, so much impulsiveness. And just looking at the scatter of fics throughout the year it was pretty obvious where I started fraying at the edges and having difficulty balancing RL stuff with fic deadlines, just crying in a dark room blasting Fiona Apple and whining about my competency while the neighbor's baby cried about poop on the street. Um. At least what fic deadlines and fic exchanges ultimately taught me: not everything you think about you put on the page, not every scene has to go there (mostly because I had no time ahah) and also there are a lot of trial and error in finding your way into a story (Big Byung fic in particular, also N/Sojin), BUT, you sometimes have to stick your guns to one story or idea or else you'll forever be paralyzed by the myriads of possibilities. I still don't know which is which yet, so. (And then there are fics that are never meant to happen. No. Suho/Lay fic I'm sorry I really can't write you it's me, not you.)
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